I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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