So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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