wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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