I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
