i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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