4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
