He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
