I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
