Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
