Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
