I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
a search helicopter?!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
