Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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