I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
