we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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