I'm really into asian looking animals
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
