so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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