Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
