went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
