we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
