Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
