there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
