Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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