A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
