Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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