Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
