weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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