I can't breathe out the right side of my face
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
