omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
