What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
