You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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