Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
