there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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