yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
