so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
