Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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