i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
