Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.

(1-828): View more from North Carolina

nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz

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(660): View more from Missouri

I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point

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(904): View more from Florida

taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(423): View more from Tennessee

just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party

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(713): View more from Texas

Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?

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(559): View more from California

I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...

(1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.

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