..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.