I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week