do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background