he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."