I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
