Whod you bang
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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