i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
