After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
