Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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