somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
