I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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