you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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