I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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