Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
