Banned from zoo.
Again?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
