quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize