Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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