And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
