Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize
