The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
