Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
