So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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