You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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