no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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