Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
This is my gift to your gina
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
