White coat. Heels.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
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ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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