How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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