I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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