I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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