The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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