So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
