No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
