North Korea, Best Korea!
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
