I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Ladies don't puke and tell
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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