So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
